Journalism I student Sasha Barkan stares up at a rock climbing wall. As Barkan grew as a climber, she struggled to conform to the stereotypical mold of the athlete. “I realized that I was climbing for no one other than myself, and to me, being an athlete is much more than looking a certain way or being able to do a certain amount of push-ups,” Barkan wrote. Illustration by Kimberly Sanabria-Amaya
Journalism I student Sasha Barkan reflects on how climbing has affected her self esteem.
I distinctly remember the first time I climbed. I was six or seven, attending my friend’s birthday party at Active Climbing. After we ran around the room screaming and playing extremely competitive games of hide and seek, handfuls of harnesses were drawn from the closet. We lined up in rows behind the wall, eagerly waiting for the chance to make it to the top. I didn’t know what to expect. I feared, maybe, that the rope would snap or that I would find myself stuck.
Finally, my turn came. As I climbed higher and higher, I overwhelmingly felt a sense of joy and calm wash over me. However, I also felt many other emotions: control, empowerment and self-confidence. I thought about that experience for weeks afterward, and when I found out that there was a youth climbing team, I ecstatically joined immediately.
I realized that I was climbing for no one other than myself, and to me, being an athlete is much more than looking a certain way or being able to do a certain amount of push-ups.
Now, I’ve spent nearly half of my life in the climbing gym. However, this by no means indicates that my self confidence has never wavered. As I grew older, I became more familiar with the image of a typical “athlete” and increasingly insecure about if I fit in with that stereotype.
Fortunately, in the past couple of years, I have spent a considerable amount of time asking myself why I climb. Through this process, I forced myself to remember the reason I started climbing – it made me feel happy to be challenged and secure in who I was.
I realized that I was climbing for no one other than myself, and to me, being an athlete is much more than looking a certain way or being able to do a certain amount of push-ups.
Truly, there is no one definition.
Rather, the word “athlete” has a fluid definition, varying from person to person. Personally, being an athlete means finding joy in challenging yourself and finding pride and confidence in getting stronger.
