An illustration shows the Italian, American, and Colombian flags inside a heart. Despite her struggles with her identity, News staffer Sofia Balsamo has learned to accept herself for who she is. Illustration by Sofia Balsamo
News staffer Sofia Balsamo reflects on her struggles with being bicultural.
Growing up as a bicultural kid, I often felt torn between my dad’s family – the Italian-American side – and my mom’s family – the Colombian side.
Over the summer, I would have to decide whether I wanted to go up North to New Jersey to spend time with my dad’s family or go down to Colombia and hang out with my mom’s family.
Likewise, during Christmas, there was always the daunting decision about whose family we would spend the holidays with, and more often than not, this decision fell onto me.
Every time I chose, it felt like I was choosing one family over the other.
It felt like a constant back and forth – like playing a game of tennis with one of my cultures on either side.
On one side, there was my dad’s family. The loud, gossipy, food-loving family. At Christmas, the table would be full with food and crowded with people with barely any room to sit.
On the other side, there was my mom’s family. The affectionate, loving, and also very loud family.
However, my struggles with being bicultural extended beyond my family. In school, on standardized tests, I was always unsure of what to put as my race/ethnicity. Do I put Hispanic or White? Was I allowed to say both?
I was always unsure of what to put as my race/ethnicity. Do I put Hispanic or White? Was I allowed to say both?
Other times it felt like I was “taking advantage” of my cultural identity by saying I was Hispanic in order to qualify for minority scholarships.
School has always been a different environment than home. At school, I’m usually surrounded by American culture. There’s American food and everybody speaks English , but at home, I’m surrounded by different values and a different language – Spanish.
I continuously battled with my identity – and I still do.
I’m always worried about straying too far away from one culture. I constantly feel the need to change the way I act in order to fit in with a certain cultural group.
But over the years, and through many learning experiences, I have been taught that I just need to embrace myself for who I am and appreciate the cultures I’m a part of. It doesn’t matter where I come from or where my family comes from.
My cultures are a part of me and nobody can take that away.
