Variety Staffer Emily Couch shares her story about her love-hate relationship with change, emphasizing the importance of accepting new opportunities that life brings your way.
Hi, I’m Emily Couch, a senior and a Variety Staffer for the ODYSSEY Media Group at Clarke Central High School. This is “This I Believe.” These are essays that discuss the origin, importance and rationale behind people’s personal belief systems. Students will share their personal essays discussing how these beliefs affect their everyday lives, times they have been challenged and how they impact the lives of those around them. This is “This I Believe.”
Love. I was loved by these people. The music blasted throughout the car along with our voices screaming to the nostalgic lyrics. My friend’s eyes locked with mine as I watched a smile grow across her face, mirroring my own. I turned back to face the winding road ahead of me, the one that led us to our destination. I was with my people. I knew I was loved.
Before this special moment, I felt lonely and isolated in California because I was unable to conform to society’s standards of looking or dressing a certain way. Early in my high school experience, pretending to be someone I wasn’t in order to fit in became mentally draining. As a result, I transferred during my freshman year to a private school, where I finally felt like I was able to ask for help, raise my hand confidently in class, and wear more than one emotion on my face that wasn’t apathy.
Unfortunately my new school created a barrier between me and my old school friends, which caused me to be excluded from group hangouts and called insulting names for not participating in the popular activities. These names became plastered to my forehead like name tags. But why did I continue to hang out with them? Easy. I feared change.
Ironically though, that one syllable word saved me. A year later, my family decided to move to Athens, Georgia. Although this tremendous change included moving across the country and never-ending anxiety, it brought me that moment of laughing and smiling in the car. The move allowed me to take a breath.
Within the first month, I made friends who allowed me to cry when I was sad, and smile when I was happy. I made friends who would call me on the weekends to come over and watch movies. They taught me what real friendship is by having daily check-ins and asking me about my day. It is the little things that they do that bring me joy because they require thought and effort.
All these years, I was stuck in relationships that took everything out of me, that caused me to come home and wonder what was wrong with me. But this change in my life gave me hope.
I experienced opportunities that I hadn’t known were possible, such as group trips, dinner dates, and FaceTime calls. I learned that reciprocation is a requirement in friendships, not an option. When a friend checks in to ask about my day or life updates, I know to do the same and to show them that their effort is appreciated. I now understand the significance of communication and being able to voice a difference in opinion because no friend is the exact same.
The past feelings that I had felt for so long were no longer my defaults and the wall that I had built to keep people from actually seeing me was no longer necessary. This new community seemed to want me and that gave me hope.
Change has given me a voice and has helped me gain a sense of confidence that I never had before. It has shown me how the golden rule should be properly executed in friendships, emphasizing the importance of character and respect. I will always have a love-hate relationship with change, but I now understand the good that can come from it.
Therefore, even though I might face the same challenges with future roommates and friends in college, I will know how to handle them maturely and communicate the issue. I will know how to have a voice and stand up for myself while allowing others to do the same respectfully. I may not always look forward to
change, but I have learned how to appreciate it because without it, I would not be where I am
today. And for that, I am forever grateful for change.
