Clarke Central High School senior Nicole Ramos (left) poses with her cousins Jaswel de Los Santos (center) and Lisbeth de Los Santos (right) during her visit to the Dominican Republic. Ramos lived in the Dominican Republic for 14 years and moved to Athens three years ago. Photo courtesy of Nicole Ramos
Variety Staffer Nicole Ramos composes a letter to her home country, The Dominican Republic, expressing how she feels after her recent visit.
Dear Dominican Republic,
You don’t know how grateful I am with life because I had the opportunity to return to you. These were the hardest three years of my life. Let me explain why.
Leaving my home country at the age of 14 was not easy. I was already used to everything where I lived and having to start over from zero was the worst. I didn’t know anyone, I couldn’t relate to the culture in the U.S. and the worst part was not knowing English.
I felt trapped because it was the decision that my dad made and my only option was to accept it and be quiet.
It was hard to say goodbye to everything: to my friends, my family and my life because I had already planned everything that I wanted in my future.
In my first year in the U.S., I learned to accept everything, even if I didn’t agree with it. I hated everything. I hated being alone, I hated how hard it was to talk to others and most of all I hated being different, but I realized that I had to live through it. I didn’t understand why I was going through this, and I didn’t understand why I had to leave my home country, the place where everything was OK.
My hopes of returning to you never left and although my dad told me we were not going back soon, I always promised myself that I wasn’t going to die before coming back home.
To be honest, after three years I started to lose hope. I thought I may never again experience the warmth and happiness that only the Dominican Republic gave me.
Until the best day of my life: June 26, 2018. It was 7:30 p.m. when my father told me to start looking for airplane tickets because we were going to return to you. I didn’t know what to do– whether to laugh or cry, whether to jump up and down or try to keep calm, but I will never forget the happiness I felt because my dreams were finally coming true.
After we bought the tickets I called my best friend, Jatnna, and I told her everything. The way we felt at that moment was unlike anything else. After three long years apart, we were going to see each other again.
I remember feeling like time was moving slower and slower, but as I waited, my excitement to return grew stronger and stronger. I missed my family, the food, my people and I missed the feeling of spending Christmas surrounded by those who love me.
Dec. 22, 2018, the day that I was waiting for, finally arrived. Everything seemed like a dream until I stepped on Dominican soil and I was able to hug all of my close relatives. At that moment, I knew everything was real, even more real than I had imagined.
I shared unforgettable moments with my friends. We were always together and everything was happy. These moments will forever be in my heart.
I thank God because my feeling when I saw you again is unexplainable, the feeling of being at home, surrounded by the people I love, who have always been with me.
Coming back to the U.S. after this trip was one of the bittersweet days of my life, because, even though I had to return to my normal life, my dreams had come true and I had been able to see the family and friends that I had missed so much.
Now I know that I should never lose hope, and I want you to know that you will always be part of me. I will always feel like you are the place I can call home because with you, I have the freedom to be myself.
I would give anything to go back, but I know I’m here for a reason– to be a better person and have more opportunities.
I miss you. Even though it’s only been a little while since I saw you, I miss you because I love that I can be whoever I want with you and I don’t have to change for anyone. With you, everything around me is happiness and love. With you, I feel like my life is the best.
I promise you, I will return and we will share more great moments. You are the little piece of the world I love the most and I will always be proud to be from you.
I love you, Dominican Republic!
From, Nicole Ramos
