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Learning to lead
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ColumnsViewpoints

Breaking down Hannah’s wall

January 17, 2015
Breaking down Hannah’s wall
Through working with professionals, sophomore Hannah Rollins has developed a method to break through her “wall” that comes from having Asperger’s syndrome. These methods have helped her conquer her challenges. Illustration by Audrey Hinkle.
By HANNAH ROLLINS – Viewpoints Writer

Though dealing with Asperger’s syndrome is a challenge, there are ways to overcome the disability.

I never knew what made me different.

I still remember going to this big room and sitting down in front of a one-way mirror, being asked about my day by a person with a clipboard. I remember crying because I couldn’t understand something we were learning in class, vaguely seeing everyone else gazing at me with dry eyes.

But I never knew what all this meant until fifth grade, when my parents told me that I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. They saw the signs, then went to professionals — the people with clipboards — to verify it. I was unable to comprehend the enormity of that revelation. What is that thing that categorizes me within itself? Is there something wrong with me? I had to learn more. I searched through books and websites until I got a basic concept of what Asperger’s is.

According to mayoclinic.com, Asperger’s syndrome is a developmental disorder that affects a person’s ability to socialize and communicate effectively with others.
A specific cause for Asperger’s has not been identified, so there is no ‘“cure,” but it is recommended that an individual afflicted with this disorder should have a support system put in place for them, which is exactly what my parents made sure I would have.

It’s called an Individualized Educational Program. It accommodates my individual needs by coming up with strategies to improve my learning environment as well as ways to prevent what I have dubbed to be my wall.

Whenever I am flummoxed, I can almost feel this enigmatic presence come over me. It wraps itself around my brain, tightening its hold until my eyes water and my mind becomes inaccessible.

I shut down.

People have seen my behavior, and while some turn a blind eye, others stare and guffaw until I just want to bury inside my wall and I lose all interest in my surroundings.

I know I am not stupid.

I have maintained a solid grade point average and have managed to be in Advanced and Advanced Placement classes, I just need a harder push to get me there.

With the proper assistance, I have overcome my disorder in many ways, and ultimately, I am glad that I have it. This wall of mine is a trait of my character.

When I control my emotions it gives me a sense of accomplishment that most people would not acquire, because it’s not something they have to overcome.

I have seen many people who have varying ranges of disabilities. No matter what your disability may be, fight to overcome it, I know I will.

And when the struggle gets tough, remember that when a wall is made, there is always a way to destroy it.

More from Hannah Rollins

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