News Staffer Jesse Dantzler’s ‘Letter to My Younger Self’ graphic is shown above. Dantzler talks about his harrowing middle school experience and how it impacted him. “Your ego-filled, validation-seeking mind is going to be your greatest adversary in this fight to improve yourself. It’s always going to be the one coming up with the excuses. It’s always going to be the one afraid of change,” Dantzler said. Graphic by Anna Shaikun
News Staffer Jesse Dantzler talks about his harrowing middle school experience, and how that’s ultimately shaped his views on discipline, mental health and well-being.
Hello, I’m Jesse Dantzler, a sophomore and a News Staffer for the ODYSSEY Media Group at Clarke Central High School, and this is my “Letter to My Younger Self.” In this podcast, students share a letter they’d like to give to their past selves full of advice, warnings, encouragement and insight into what their future holds. This is my “Letter to My Younger Self.”
Dear 12-year-old Jesse,
YOU ACTUALLY PULLED IT OFF! I take pride in knowing I used to be you! Now, I can take the baton and continue the race. I’m grateful that I used to be you. Good job, Jesse!
I know you aren’t in the best of mental states right now, and it might be hard to believe that anyone is proud of you. And…looking back, no one really had a reason. You had no accomplishments to your name. You were the average skinny-fat, depressed young middle-schooler. Every other day, your ‘friends’ would verbally stomp you into the dirt. Every other day, you’d tear yourself down, be it through bouts of unbridled rage, breaking down in tears at night, or forgetting about your problems with various methods a bit too taboo to mention here. That absolute dissatisfaction with yourself, that’s the telltale sign. You need to change, and it’s an uncomfortable truth. To look in your mirror (that you haven’t cleaned in a few years) with absolute contempt for what you’ve become, I know the pain from experience. But it’s also necessary.
At first you’ll fail to recognize your problems. You’ll often use outside forces to justify your failure to take action. “Oh, right now my friends want to play Destiny 2 with me, I’ll do it later; I don’t know how to run optimally, I’ll injure myself; Why should I talk to her? I have terrible social skills; I’ve already indulged today and the streak is no more, one more can’t hurt-”
I’mma have to cut across you to deliver an uncomfortable truth:
You can’t stick to a routine, you can’t beat your procrastination, you can’t even get out of bed when you say you will. You’ve said you’re free to do whatever you want, but you can’t get yourself to do what you feel the need to do? You’re not free; you’re a slave to your own mind.
Shut the **** UP, Jesse.
You’re not doing what you need to do because you don’t feel like it. All those excuses, all those “I’ll do it later” moments, that’s all they are. Excuses, created by a mind afraid of pain, afraid of responsibility for its lack of action, addicted to instant gratification, created by the mind of a weak, skinny-fat, depressed boy. You’ll come to realize, as you slowly become me, that your ego-filled, validation-seeking mind is going to be your greatest adversary in this fight to improve yourself. It’s always going to be the one coming up with the excuses. It’s always going to be the one afraid of change. “Oh, it won’t matter if I indulge once or twice, will it? Oh, I’mma wait until motivation strikes me, I don’t feel like doing this right now. I can sit out this session, I’ve only missed the last three-”
Shut the **** UP, Jesse.
Don’t fret, combating this gets easier. Oftentimes, that side of you will get the better of you still. It has a way of sneaking up on you without you realizing, but it’s not the end of the world, so don’t beat yourself up too hard. As you’ll come to realize, breaking down when things don’t go your way is objectively useless. It’s better to invest your brainpower into something else. Another thing you’ll come to realize as you better yourself: This fight will never be over. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you realize what it means: You will always be able to improve in some way. So keep improving. And be grateful and proud of your accomplishments, for they prove that this eternal fight is not a useless one.
You’ll realize more as time unfolds. Aside from that, good job, Jesse. I’m proud of you. Keep fighting, and I’ll take the baton soon. And whenever that side of you puts it’s façade up in an attempt to make excuses and take the easy way out, relay this message from yours truly:
“Shut the **** UP, Jesse.”
Well, I need to go now. I have to play catch-up with some schoolwork. That’s one of your many bad habits that I’m honored to break in the name of our futures.
With gratitude,
-Dantzler
