Viewpoints Editor Peter Atchley’s ‘Personal Narrative’ graphic is shown above. Atchley began to question his Christian upbringing as he grew older, despite large amounts of religious influence from his family. “When I was young, it was hard to argue or question why we were at church; I just knew I had to wear nice clothes on Sunday mornings and show up later for the youth group,” Atchley wrote. “I even went to a Christian homeschool co-op where I was surrounded by tons of scripture and hymns. At the time, this co-op was my main means of socialization with peers and it too was about religion.” Graphic by Peter Atchley
Viewpoints Editor Peter Atchley discusses his religious upbringing and the difficulties he’s faced when questioning Christianity.
Hi, I’m Peter Atchley. I am a sophomore at Clarke Central High School and the Viewpoints Editor for the ODYSSEY Media Group. For the past few years, OMG writers have explored writing personal narratives. These essays discuss how a specific event in a person’s life has shaped them. This is my personal narrative: “Questioning Religion and its Reasoning.”
I received a lot of love from the Oconee Presbyterian Church growing up. Yet even with all of the love from the church, I felt pressured to be religious and quiet with my questions about religion.
When I was young, it was hard to argue or question why we were at church; I just knew I had to wear nice clothes on Sunday mornings and show up later for the youth group. I even went to a Christian homeschool co-op where I was surrounded by tons of scripture and hymns. At the time, this co-op was my main means of socialization with peers and it too was about religion. From kindergarten through sixth grade, I felt shushed and silenced, silenced as my questioning of religion continued to grow as I did.
At that time, I would sit in my car on the way to church thinking to myself, “Does God exist? Or is he made up? Was the Bible just made up?” I was so confused and felt like I couldn’t ask anyone because I was surrounded by Christians who bought into everything I was questioning. As I grew up, it was hard to feel like I could be my own person without this Christian weight on my shoulders.
I know that my whole family is some subsection of Christian, they all have their beliefs and have pushed them on me since I could walk. And even though my family is very accepting of me and the way I want to be, I don’t know how they would react to me outright saying I don’t believe in Christianity.
All of my older siblings never really had an issue with it, but I’m starting to question that now, too. My sister has started to pick up more Christian habits as an adult, and now prays before every meal. My brother makes an effort to show up for the church’s choir and sings the loudest even when he is not on the stage. Coming from a Christian family, having my older siblings all follow suit with my family and me being the youngest I feel shushed in my beliefs. I feel like I am being forced not to ask questions.
Part of my struggle is that being Christian comes with as many political connotations as being gay does. Right now, as I see it, a Christian is associated with the Republican party or a conservative mindset, while being any part of the LGBTQ+ makes people think you reject Christianity. It’s hard to grow up religious while also going against these stereotypes since people tend to make very general assumptions about you.
Since a young age, I have had to support both the LGBTQ+ and Christian communities in the face of harmful stereotypes. It’s been difficult to defend my religion, something I’ve had a growing amount of hate for. However, these assumptions about Christianity were hurtful and I had only started to experience them once I got out of my Christian school and religious atmosphere.
At fourteen, I was put into a confirmation class with my church, where I began working towards confirming the promises I made at baptism. Again, I was pressured into this religious practice, and I felt shushed again, unable to speak against Christianity. I needed answers, so I talked with a few adults in the church about what faith means to me. Feeling unsure, I had a hard time answering their questions but I put on my religious persona and got through it.
This all culminated with me having to read aloud my written declaration of my faith on a Zoom call with a few elders in the church. It all felt like lying. I thought they would see right through me and not let me join the church, but with a vote of seven out of seven I was in. Now it really didn’t feel right; I still had this growing question in me if God was even real or not and I couldn’t talk to anyone.
I was baptized because I was a son of a Christian family and I still have negative feelings towards religion and unanswered questions. But here’s something I do know: I refuse to be quiet anymore. I want to get out of the church and stop feeling like my questions will never be answered. This all happened once I started to expand my social circles. I realized some people had that option to not go to church with their families and I wanted the same. I now feel so much better because I’m not just surrounded by Christians; I have people in my life that feel the way I do.
