Menu Editor Kalli Samaltanos is pictured on the ‘This I believe’ background. Samaltanos shares her struggle with identity, and journey to self-discovery. Graphic by Natalie Schliekelman
Menu editor Kalliope Samaltanos talks about her struggles with being labeled by other people, and how self-discovery allowed her to break out of the stereotypes.
Hi, I’m Kalliope Samaltanos, a junior and the Menu Editor for the ODYSSEY Media Group at Clarke Central High School. This is “This I believe”. These are essays that discuss the origin, importance, and rationale behind people’s personal belief systems. Students will share their personal essays discussing how these beliefs affect their everyday lives, times they may have been challenged, and how they may impact the lives of those around them. This is “This I Believe.”
Growing up, I never thought I’d run out of places to swim. The bathtub was boundless, the deep end of the swimming pool was the ocean and I was a mermaid. Time seemed to slow down the longer I was underwater, and it gave me a space to be myself. Growing up, my identity was not limited because of others’ perceptions of me.
I am 10 ten years old and excited to receive my final report card of the year. My teacher, a lean woman with short grey hair, hands me an envelope addressed to the parents of Kalliope Samaltanos-Wargo. I carry the envelope back to my mom’s car and we slowly open it. Seven A’s and one teacher comment: “Amazing student, but she sure is a chatterbox. Work on this.”
For weeks, the comment riddled me with confusion and self-doubt. If I was an amazing student, what would be the point of critiquing my personality? The comment was not made to further my education, it was made to teach me that my words were not welcome in her classroom. This was not the first time I had been reminded of how much I talk, but it was the first time it had been cast in such a negative light.
I wish I could say these words ended in the classroom, but they lingered over my head for many years after. I was constantly being reminded by family members, peers, and teachers that I did not live up to their standards of perfection.
You grow up getting told to be yourself. When you get older, however, you realize that the courtesy of simply “being yourself” is only extended so far. People are expected to change their personalities for the sake of others’ comfort. The comments made about how much I talk began to make me question my self-worth. I learned to become invisible. I chose to hide my personality from the world for fear of being judged for showing too much of myself.
I am 10 years old and far too young to be worrying about these things. I bring myself back to the bathtub, the swimming pool, the places that once seemed so big and so endless. I attempt to submerge myself in water but I’ve gotten too tall, and all my awkward bones clank against each other.
Through trial and error, I realize it’s time to find places where I can swim instead of sink.
It is so simple to allow words to define you. It’s easier to let people label you than to figure yourself out. However, in order to fully achieve happiness, we must strive to learn ourselves. We must grow and earn new titles that better describe us. I deserved happiness and to reach this, I had to give up the fear of judgment that I was holding onto for so long.
I am thirteen now. I’ve just moved back to my hometown, Athens. In my new house, the bathtub is bigger. There are pools close by that have deeper deep ends and more places to explore. In Athens, I find the space to learn about what I’m good at. I take the “Chatterbox” label I was once given and turn it into something I can hold by focusing on Journalism, public speaking and education.
Learning how to be me was the biggest challenge I ever had to face, but I’m glad I did it.
Getting constantly reminded of “what I was supposed to be” was the reason it took me so long to get there. I know now that all those people were correct. I am the biggest chatterbox you’ll ever meet, and I’m also a great listener, a good friend, an amazing student, and a journalist.
I am sixteen now. I have learned it is okay for the bathtub to have barriers. There will be more places to swim and places with ends so deep you could not imagine them. I am sixteen now and have learned to give myself the space to be everything I am, chatterbox and all.
