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…To be more like my father

February 25, 2021
…To be more like my father
A portrait of Clarke Central High School senior Tomás Dougan’s father, Scott Dougan. Tomás shares his story of being deeply inspired by his father through subtle acts of selflessness. Illustration by Tomás Dougan

I awoke — fully clothed, lights on, and with my textbook still next to me on the bed.

A brief affair with sleep left my eyes feeling heavy. I had to know how much of the night I lost in case I could salvage some effort to continue studying. But it was around 2:30 a.m., and at last, I resigned to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen instead.

There was a faint glow coming from the bottom of the stairs. It was my dad. I remember being especially curious at what he was working on that night, because unlike usual, his laptop was cast aside on the couch, leaving lecture slides untended.

“What are you doing up this late?” I asked him, quickly losing interest in my water bottle. But when I got closer I was able to figure it out for myself. Next to him were chemistry formulas and equations: he had been recording pages of them for my sister, who since her car accident in 2016 couldn’t reliably write them for class.

“Nothing really, just copying down some notes,” he said.

On the lamp desk to his left I saw her pill box; he must’ve also finished refilling them for the week. He had grants to write and research to work on, yet somehow, so late at night, he was still writing chemistry notes for my sister.

That year I worked as a host at a local diner. One night, the dinner rush had picked up more than usual, and all of the sudden I found myself with a massive waitlist.

My head quickly grew clouded by thoughts on which tables to bus, which guests to seat and what time the wait was, all while new parties of six or eight kept on flooding in.

“Hey, Tomás, we have a problem.” In the middle of it all, I was called over. A pipe had burst, and it was spewing hot water all over the bar and kitchen.

I felt dread sweep over me, but as that familiar heaviness sank in, my thoughts returned to my
father.

“Giving me rides, taking my sister to therapy, cooking dinner every night, he always managed to surpass the weight of his own troubles and help us.”

— Tomás Dougan,
CCHS senior

Giving me rides, taking my sister to therapy, cooking dinner every night, he always managed to surpass the weight of his own troubles and help us.

So, using his example, I picked myself up and ignored the bearing weight. Then on, at any spare moment, I was running up and down Washington Street, rife with its bars and restaurants, asking any businesses if they could loan us some duct tape.

I managed to tape up the pipe until we could get a permanent fix, but regardless, just the decision to take action had changed me somewhat.

Whether from school or work, when I feel absorbed by my own grief, I recognize how important it is not to let it affect my connection to others. I have many aspirations in life, but above all, I hope I achieve that will of character — to show compassion when I may need it myself, and to be more like my father.

More from Tomás Dougan

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Tomás Dougan

Tomás Dougan is a senior at Clarke Central High School.

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