Visuals staffer Audrey Kennedy has always felt a sense of security when drawing. Photo courtesy of Ian Kennedy.
Visuals staffer Audrey Kennedy explains how she sought comfort through her art when dealing with the aftermath of her parents’ divorce.
Everything I own is covered in my drawings. There are sketches hanging up on my walls, mindless doodles on my old shoes and smudged pen ink on my friends’ arms from where I’ve drawn on them.
I have been an artist ever since I was little. I drew when I pleased and what I pleased. And my favorite part was that no one had to see. Anything I made, I took comfort in knowing it could be gone whenever I decided it should be.
When my parents got divorced, I clung to my art. I would curl up for hours sketching in my bed and when I was finished, I would tear the page out, get up and place it in the trash.
Unwanted change began to happen all around me.
My dad moved out. He would frequently drive me and my sister up to Atlanta to see his new girlfriend. I was angry with my mom for not telling me why they divorced, I was angry that I had to haul armfuls of my belongings from house to house and I was angry at my friends whose parents were still together.
Amidst all the changes that were out of my hands, I felt security in the fact that I had complete control over my art.
I loved that I had this platform, this activity that I had loved all my life, to support me. My art didn’t rely on anyone outside of myself, my art didn’t make decisions that left me feeling angry and, most of all, my art was just for me.
I wasn’t destroying my work to be destructive, but instead to comfort myself, as if it were an embrace that would always be a part of me and that even in the face of change, it would always be something I had control of.
