Freshman Madeleine Ingle (left) and father David Ingle (right) pose for photo in the summer of 2008. During this time period, David was struggling with his addiction. Photo courtesy of the Ingle family.
By MADDIE INGLE – Staff Writer
Freshman Madeleine Ingle shares her father’s struggle with addiction.
Growing up, I was always told to never talk to strangers or to walk alone at night, but I was never warned about the dangers of addiction. Nobody was ever there to tell me that no matter how late I stayed up, daddy was not coming home that night.
Addiction does not discriminate. Addiction does not care if you’re old or young, married or single, male or female. Addiction doesn’t care, even if it’s three hours past my bedtime, and daddy is still not home.
However, the thought never crossed my mind that daddy is an addict.
“But I’m his little princess, he must be stuck in traffic. Daddy must have a reason for being so late.”
It was noon the next day before daddy ever came home.
Yet still, as any naive 9-year-old would, I never suspected daddy of anything. It would be two more years until I’d discover daddy’s addiction, the real reason why he never came home each night. I had to let him hit his own rock bottom before anything would change.
I use the word “change” lightly. It doesn’t matter if someone has been sober for 10 years or 10 months– they were once so dependent on a substance used to escape reality, that reality slipped away from them.
They will always be an addict.
Although my father cannot change his past, he tries to be here for me now and make up the time he lost during those nights when he never came home.
Finding out my father is an addict forced me to deal with the betrayal and neglect I’d unknowingly faced my whole life. I finally knew why my mother would relentlessly bother him about where he was going and what he was doing. I finally knew why my older brother, who was more aware of the situation than I was, always protected my mother and never trusted my dad.
I began to realize where my father was that night, and everything started to make sense. Although I may have felt used and lied to by my father, I know why he did everything he did. He’s an addict.
I grew up quickly, because I had to. I learned how to depend on myself, because I had to. But most importantly, I learned to love unconditionally, because I had to.
