Malachi McNeill stands on Mitchell Bridge, a structure of imposing concrete looming high over Georgia Interstate 10, examining the blur of traffic 40 feet below. One thought creeps into his mind:
“I’m going to do it.”
To know Malachi McNeill as a Clarke Central High School student was to know the name on the back of his letterman: Maly. Maly was the football team’s lockdown cornerback, the popular kid in the halls, the star who had it all figured out.
Those around him sang his praise – Maly was meant to be a football player. Maly could play at the next level. Maly was a self-proclaimed “god” with a dream.
Away from Maly, though, Malachi was slipping.
Caught up in a life that wasn’t his own, Malachi turned to smoking to dull his pain and to block out his heavy thoughts, moving through life with no plans, no purpose.
Then, senior season. An ankle injury that meant no more football, no more Maly. Malachi found himself in a deep depression, drifting through life in a fog, not recognizing who he’d become, living simply to work and eventually unsure whether he wanted to live at all. As high school ended, Maly was left behind for good.
And so, in the summer of 2023, a freshly-graduated Malachi McNeill stood on Mitchell Bridge, considering the jump and its consequences, trying his best not to think about the scars the decision would leave on the people that loved him.
But something was there to hold him back. Maybe fear, maybe hope. After all, there were people that loved him, and in that moment, Malachi turned away from the concrete railing and continued his walk to work.
In the weeks and months after deciding to live, Malachi moved back and forth between Athens and Atlanta, staying with different friends and family. He floated, working different jobs, fighting both with the people around him and his own thoughts.
I was so grateful and at peace looking over the bridge, knowing that deep in my heart, I’m so happy – and I mean genuinely happy – that I did not make that attempt.
Clarke Central High School Class of 2023 alumnus Malachi McNeill, a former varsity football player, sits on Mitchell Bridge on Jan. 30. McNeill struggled with suicidal ideation after he graduated from CCHS. “Even knowing that I’m coming out of this dark place, I still tried to take my life. It was by the grace of God I didn’t, because I wouldn’t be here to tell this story right now,” McNeill said. Photo by Wyatt Meyer
Six months and six different homes after graduation, back in Athens, Malachi knew something needed to change.
Malachi found time to reflect, found comfort in solitude, began to find purpose. In September 2024, he read his first poem, “Dying To Get Out,” at a suicide prevention night at Hendershot’s Coffee, reflecting on “getting ready to tip over” as a metaphor for his own journey with suicide.
He started his “Let’s Talk Life Podcast,” where he speaks with guests and shares his own experiences with mental health to understand his struggle. Malachi found that living for God, seeing things through “His” perspective, was most fulfilling, and he found a way to live happily.
Malachi returned to Mitchell Bridge in January for the first time since he nearly jumped less than a year earlier. He watched commuters pass beneath him and saw it not as an ending, but proof that he made it through.
“I was so grateful and at peace looking over the bridge, knowing that deep in my heart, I’m so happy – and I mean genuinely happy – that I did not make that attempt,” McNeill said.
Malachi McNeill is more than a football player, more than Maly. And he knows – he’s alive for a reason.
If you’re having suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide Hotline at 988 for help. At CCHS, students struggling with their mental health should schedule an appointment with a mental health counselor.
