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Paws and lessons
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ODYSSEY Media Group

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      Slider

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      February 24, 2026

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      CCHS boys varsity soccer season preview

      February 17, 2026

      By the Numbers

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      November 20, 2025

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      Breaking news: CCHS varsity football advances to Sweet…

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      Op/ed.

      Setting the standard

      August 14, 2025

      Op/ed.

      Tell me the odds

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      Op/ed.

      Equal, not equitable

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SliderViewpoints

Satire: UGA’s Need for Speed

August 29, 2024
Satire: UGA’s Need for Speed
A satirical movie poster displays the wreckage caused by the University of Georgia football team’s driving. Editor-in-Chief Wyatt Meyer sympathized with the team’s rocky record on the roads in the past several years. “After all, haven’t all Athenians been tempted to escape the Eastside by whatever means necessary at one point or another?” Illustration by Kimberly Sanabria-Amaya

Calling all speedsters – the University of Georgia’s new NASCAR team is making waves in Athens.

7 p.m, Downtown Athens.

The Sanford Stadium lights pour down onto Sanford Stadium. The Who’s “Baba O’Riley” rings from the speakers. The crowd rises with a roar as what they’ve been waiting for runs onto the field: the University of Georgia’s official NASCAR team.

Or, as some know them, the UGA football team.

On July 23, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that over the last 18 months, UGA football players and staff have been involved in at least 24 driving-related incidents and arrests – the only racing saga with more sequels than the Fast and Furious series.

These incidents range from trivial, practically legal speeding to only barely more serious violations like reckless driving and driving under the influence.

But even in light of these meaningless offenses, UGA head football coach Kirby Smart has left no stone unturned in quashing the so-called “issue.”

“We do as much or more education than anybody in the country. We have discipline in the form of suspensions, and we will continue to do so because we’ll have suspensions coming out of some of these (recent infractions),” Smart said at the team’s SEC Media Day event on July 16.

And thank Football Jesus that UGA has instituted such sweeping reforms – not being able to throw a ball around for a week or two would make anyone rethink their choices. It clearly did for former UGA players De’Nylon Morrissette and Marcus Rosemy-Jacksaint, who were each stopped three different times for traffic-related offenses in their time at UGA, according to the AJC.

As for the team’s education courses, anyone knows defensive driving is basically the same football defense – a blitz is usually the right call.

The crowd rises with a roar as what they’ve been waiting for runs onto the field: the University of Georgia’s official NASCAR team.

Of course, nothing actually bad has happened. It’s not like UGA’s team has felt the consequences of reckless driving and driving under the influence in awful, graphic and personal detail.

After all, if nothing else, an actual tragedy would change team culture.

Thus, may we all have the same bravery to treat Broad Street like a drag strip and Georgia State Route 10 Loop – a.k.a “The Loop” – like the Daytona 500. After all, haven’t all Athenians been tempted to escape the Eastside by whatever means necessary at one point or another? It’s really not such a big deal.

So carry on, ‘Dawgs. Streetlights are floodlights, pavement is a playing field, and sirens are simply cheers from the crowd.

And make no mistake: whether it’s Sanford Stadium or Sanford Drive, you’ll have a crowd.

More from Wyatt Meyer

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Wyatt Meyer

Wyatt Meyer is a Clarke Central High School senior and the Editor-in-Chief of the ODYSSEY Media Group. Through his work writing, editing, and designing for the program, Meyer hopes to further his abilities as a journalist and tell stories valuable to the community. Outside of school, Meyer enjoys writing, playing the piano, and playing soccer.

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